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LJ Idol - Week 4 - Sexual Ethics

Wow, I left this to the wire, didn't I? Well, in any case, I'm sure anyone who knows me and saw the topics probably saw this coming.

Throughout history, the ethics of sexuality have gone back and forth, from what amounts to polygamy being totally acceptable, to oh god, if you sleep with someone you're not married to...YOU WILL DIE. We're currently in a place where there's supposed sexual freedom (err, to a point) yet that doesn't seem to be the case. You sleep with too many people, and as a female you're branded a whore, a slut, dirty, what have you. As a male? It's almost accepted completely.

I'm nearly 20 years old, and I'm still a virgin. According to people I know, I'm a prude. I'm frigid. I'm chicken-shit.

The reason? Is none of the above. I haven't seriously dated anyone since ninth grade, and since I think thirteen is way too young an age to start getting it on, well that clearly wasn't happening.

Why haven't I dated since?

Easy. I have standards. People tell me they're too high, and I disagree. Why is it ridiculous to think I would want to date someone who I'm attracted to, both mentally and physically? I don't want to date someone who's drop dead sexy, but has a complete lack of brain activity. Nor do I want to date someone who I feel absolutely no physical attraction to, but who I could talk with for hours and never get bored. Just haven't found the right medium.

But I digress.

It's not that I'm afraid, or just a prude. I'm not waiting till marriage, or for that oh my god! special moment. If people can make their choices to be out there sexually, and do whatever they feel is right, why is it that people take such issue with what I choose to do?

Hell, I've had a friend tell me to just "get it over with" and while I've thought about it, I just can't. It's not how I am, and it never has been.

If you look at other cultures, they have set standards as to what is and isn't acceptable. The one I live in isn't so stringent. You're given the ability to make your own choices, the chance to do what you feel is right for you. I've chosen to make this one, and I'm not sure what's so wrong about that.

The ethics of sexuality are not clearly defined, and have never been more confusing.

I hate feeling as though I'm being judged for not doing something, especially something with reprecussions like sex can have.

That whole looking before you leap thing, it's how I am about everything. It's not going to change just because people think I'm weird for still being a virgin. No matter what they say.

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Comments

igrayne
Nov. 15th, 2009 06:46 pm (UTC)
I did the "just get it over with" thing. While I don't regret it, I wouldn't really recommend it.

I've been told I'm picky too, but at the same time when you decide to not be picky you get told i get told I have low standards. Ignore what anyone else says about these things, just do what will make you happy. It's your body, you're life and only you can chose what you want to do.

I think sexuality is a good example of how women still aren't equal to men. It's like you said a man can sleep with loads of women and while he gets called a player he's still seen as a cool dude, while women are just called whores. Also it's still seen as taboo for women to talk about sex shiz, while if you openly talk about vibrators or what you did to your man last night you're seen as "a modern woman", which I personally are proud to be but this can equally be spun to be very negative. when guys talk about it it's just seen as "typical guy". It's been acceptable for a lot longer while it's recently acceptable for girls.

Does that all make sense?